Followers

Sunday, December 26, 2010

True Wit

Once upon a time, about 1991, I lived in a small village in South Australia.  The population was roughly 2000.  After being there about a month, even if you didn't know everyone by name...you knew everyone by sight.  Now in this village lived a young woman named Michelle.

Michelle was a 20-something, single Aussie lass.  She was f-f-f-fine!!!  On a scale of 1 to 10, she was about a 12.4...on a bad hair day :-)  I googled for photos to "represent" her in this post but none did her justice...so use your imagination.  A smile that lit up the day, perfectly proportioned body, breasts that provided just enough waste to be entertaining, buns made of Kevlar...you get the idea.  The common consensus among the males of the village was that Michelle was the hottest woman in town.

Now add to this walking, breathing fantasy the fact that Michelle was also one of the nicest, most pleasant people in the village...and it was sincere!!!  It was almost like no one had ever clued her in on how friggin' attractive she was...no arrogance, no snobbishness, no fakeness!!!  Add the looks and personality together and essentially she was the type of woman that very, very few guys would have the courage to approach.

Until one night...

Friday night and the pub was jumpin'!!!  A good mix of Aussies and Yanks...throwing darts, shooting pool, and of course...drinking beer!  Michelle is sitting at the bar chatting with girlfriend and being her usual lovely, likable self. 

An American, whose name I will not change because he should never live this down, named Stephen, apparently decides this night is the night.  Fueled by a healthy dose of liquid courage (alcohol) and "supportive" mates...Aussie and Yank alike...he makes his move.

I'm sure he thought he was sauntering...but actually it was more like weaving...up to Michelle.  With the cosmos against him...just as he loudly said (so he could be heard over the music...and so his mates could witness his bravery) the music stopped!  The whole pub heard him speak this classic pick-up line...

"Michelle, I sure would like to get into your pants"

With a smile that melted hearts and made puppies wag their tails, Michelle so sweetly replied:

"No thanks mate, I already have one asshole there"

A collective groan from every male in the place could be heard as Stephen was shot down in flames!!!


22 comments:

Mynx said...

Bloody brilliant Dad. Did he ever try again?

Bouncin' Barb said...

What a priceless story Dad. You couldn't dream that up if you wanted to.

twilightgazing said...

Just got to love the Australian sense of humour!

Jess said...

That's hilarious. Kudos to her for being quick with the comeback, too.

colenic said...

That goes down in the books as a classic line to reject someone...
Thanks for sharing!!

Chief aka Dad http://unsoundreasoning.blogspot.com said...

@Mynx...he's probably still in theraphy :-) And of course, us sensitive military guys were soooo gentle with him afterwards!

@Barb...it was a Kodak moment for sure

@twilight...yep

@Jess...and she was so sweet about it...which made it even better


@colenic...so true....and she didn't hesitate a second

Jimmy said...

The line that was doomed to fail but yet he tried anyway Ha Ha

Great Post my Friend

Mynx said...

If you need more "chief" better pop on over to my place. Seems he has raided my beers, and plonked himself down in my hammock.

Dribble...

hed said...

Ha ha nice!

hed

caterpillar said...

lol....Michelle was quick witted as well then...

Sandra said...

My hero! All hail the queen of the barbed arrows!

lyndylou said...

ha ha ha classic! I absolutely loved her response......she's my hero!

Harman said...

nice blog...

Please Visit My Blog..
Lyrics Mantra

Odie Langley said...

Really loved this one.
Odie

Mrs. Hyde said...

I can see that Michelle and I would be great friends. I'm going to borrow that comeback of hers. I hope she won't mind.

ib said...

I like this, Michelle. But I have a hard time believing that she exsists. It's not normal. Smoking hot, humble AND spunky? Yes, I said spunky.

Chief aka Dad http://unsoundreasoning.blogspot.com said...

@Jimmy...I'm sure he had lots of "encouragement" from his mates that night

@caterpillar...yep, she certainly was

@Sandra and lyndylou...hmm...Michelle in a little hero costume...with a cape...I like it ;-)

@Harmen...thanks

@Odie...it was memorable

@Mrs. Hyde...I sure you would be and I doubt that she would mind...after all, you hotties have to stick together ;-)

@ib...I agree...she was a rare specimen!!!

DW said...

She was cute, nice, AND smart? I'm amazed she was single!

On My Soapbox said...

Bahaha! I thought the story was going to be about you asking her out! Why didn't you, anyway?

Drake Sigar said...

Vulgur pickup lines are stupid, along with the people who use them. It's no better than the sterotypical construction worker yelling at every attractive woman who passes by.

Tress said...

Hahahha love this story.

Miss Vicki said...

Love this:)