Followers

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Hmmmm....what do you think?

I have a quick little question that I'd like your opinions on.  It's one of those things that I never really thought about until it brushed against my life last week.  My unmarried niece gave birth to a healthy baby boy...7 pounds, 19 inches...and all is well.  When discussing the baby's name....I automatically assumed that the baby's last name would be the same as the mother's, since she's not married....wrong again!!!

So, in this situation, what should be the baby's last name....the mother's, the father's, hyphenated or what?   Just curious :-)

P.S. I've told JM if she and BF get married she has to hyphenate with her name being first....she hasn't agreed yet but I think I'm wearing her down :-)

17 comments:

Bouncin' Barb said...

I was a single mother when I had my son. His father was an A-1 Asshole. I called the family court and they said that the mother can name her baby anything she wants including last name. So I gave him mine. When hubby adopted Mike his name changed. Now my son's girl have his last name even though the mother and he are not together. I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's up to the mother. Hope that helps!

Cinderita said...

The people that I know who've been in that situation, have given their child the last name of the dad, however, I agree with hyphenating.

Teresa - in the Middle Side of Life said...

Like Barb said, it's up to the mother. My step-son's daughter has her mother's last name, although they got married a short time later. They gave their son our last name, so the kids have the same dad but different last names. (Funny thing - they're divorced and she's remarried; has another child and he's got her new husband's last name.) When Amy had Isaiah she was married but after it was all said and done, we ALL wished she'd just given him our last name and never married the jerk (that's the nicest thing I can say about him). Now that she's remarried, his new dad will adopt him and give him his last name.

Dad said...

@all...Like I said in the post, never really thought about this until recently...seems much more complicated than I imagined!

lyndylou said...

In the UK it's up to the mum to decide. My sister had a son at 17 and she gave him his father's last name.

becca said...

wow hard question i mean if she and baby's dad are on talking terms then why not give baby dad's name if not and she wants nothing to do with him then her last name i couldn't really say on this one.

Jumble Mash said...

Honestly, I think if the baby's daddy is worth a damn, it should have his last name. If not, then it should have hers.

Jumble Mash said...

P.S. I'm never gonna hyphenate but its funny hearing you trying so by all means, keep at it.

Uninspired Blogger said...

I like the Spanish system of naming. The child gets both last names, so if Jane Doe had a kid with Jack Rider and the kid was named Mike, then the full name with would be Mike Doe Rider, no hyphen.

I think that's fair to everybody

hed said...

Hey dad your vote bajiggy is not letting me vote-it says I have to be signed in (which I am!).

I was a single mom in the same situation-I say as long as the dad is around and being a dad, I say do the traditional thing and name the baby with the father's last name.

It's hard nowadays, though. It's truly up to the couple (or mother, in a single case).

hed www.hedabovewater.com

Jimmy said...

I go with giving the baby the Dads last name unless he is completely worthless and will never be around then go with the Moms

Odie Langley said...

No question, the child needs to have the mother's last name until the father decides to take responsibility for what he did.

Dad said...

It always amazes me when something that I initially feel is so simple...turns out to be so complex !

ib said...

Dad, I have always ass-u-me-d that if a child was/is born out of wedlock, it would take the mother's name. I only have my experience to go on. Two of my fellow students were impregnated in high school and both children took the mother's last name. That may be because the dad's were bums.

Jess said...

Difference situations call for difference decisions, I'd say. If I were single and the dad wasn't going to be prevalent in child's life, I'd stick with my last name. If father and I were together, I'd most likely go with dad's name. Married, engaged, etc. I always say go with dad's name. My cousin had a baby boy and her father's last name was going to die out since he had all girls, so she hyphenated her son's name with her last name and then her husband's last name.

Dad said...

@ib....based on the feedback, it really does seem to be situational

@Jess....I'm trying to get JM to hyphenate her name when she gets married...not sure it's working :-)

DW said...

As far as hyphenating goes, I think it depends on the last names. For example, I would never hyphenate because my last name has ten letters, and my bf's last name has nine. Ten letters is enough. If we get married someday (I told him "after I retire"), I will not change my last name, either. My last name is perfectly good, and I like it. We won't be having kids, just spending our pensions and 401ks.