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Tuesday, December 7, 2010

This is my "I can't think of a title" title

I've read a couple posts recently where bloggers have listed things about themselves that we didn't know.  I think that's a kewl idea BUT I have no idea what it might be that anyone would want to know about me.  So, here's an open invitation...if there's anything you'd like to know about me...ask :-)  As long as it doesn't relate to that one night in Juarez, Mexico....I'll probably answer!

Homo Sapien Version 2.0

Not that I think there is anything wrong with the way we are now, but I do have a few upgrade ideas if a Version 2.0 is in the works!

1.  Detachable arms...would make sleeping so much more comfortable.

2.  An eyeball...with a VERY tough lid...on each index finger...would make finding things in pockets and purses much easier.

3.  Adjustable size breasts and penises....make them smaller while playing sports, trying to work, or just when they are in the way...make them bigger when the situation calls for it :-)

4.  Nipples on butt cheeks...would add a whole new dimension to slow dancing !!!

5.  Brain on/off switch...for those times that you're sooooo tired of thinking but your mind won't stop racing

What upgrades would you like to see?

17 comments:

Bouncin' Barb said...

How about a pain free body? Is that too much to ask?

Mrs. Hyde said...

Oh, Dad...you're so cute. I see where JM gets it from.
1. I never know what to do with my arms, so I wind up sleeping with them propped under my head and can't move them in the morning.
2. hilarious and creepy at the same time
3. sometimes after I've gone jogging, I feel like someone has used my boobies as punching bags
4. nipples on butt cheeks would add a whole new dimension to more than just slow dancing
5. maybe then I could get some sleep
All very good ideas. My upgrade would be a tiny door on the bottom of your feet. Sometimes I get an itch in there that I just can't reach. If I had a little door, I could pop that sucker open and go to town.

becca said...

your adjustable breat/penis idea had me spewing my coffee in laughter. totally loved that one.

Mynx said...

I so need that brain switch.

Dad said...

@Barb...I just work up with a sore throat...can't believe I didn't think about pain free...great idea!

@Mrs. Hyde...awww...thanks for calling me cute...I'm blushing! FYI...I do operate a boobie massage service...$5 per boob....that's all I can afford :-). I like the foot door idea!

@becca...Unfortunately I seem to have the spewing effect on women...not sure it's a good thing!!! Glad you got a chuckle

@Mynx...JM and I have discussed the brain switch many times...we could both use one

Jumble Mash said...

Bwhahahaha. You are so funny. I like the detachable arms. And the boobs thing.

I would like to do something about the bladder. Seriously, I do not want to get up in the wee hours of morning just because I have to pee. And not to mention, I don't want to stop whatever I'm doing to go pee. Or walk 6,000 miles to the OTHER end of the mall just because my bladder has to go right then and there. It's a terrible inconvenience.

I want to know...
1. What happened in Mexico?
2. What is something that you've done that you have never told your children?:)
3. Besides family members, who was/is the greatest person you've ever met?
4. What did you get me for Christmas?
5. What is your biggest pet peeve?

ib said...

You stole my nipples on butt idea but I have a few others. :)

1. X-Ray vision with an off switch. I need not explain myself on this one. I already have x-ray vision but there are some things that I would like to unsee, you dig?

2. X-Ray vision proof suit. Again, I need not explain myself on this one, and trust me, it is in the rest of societies best interest to not argue.

3. All you can eat steak buffet at Pond.......that's been done. Never mind.

Cinderita said...

I'm sorry. Did you say "make breasts and penises smaller"?

not only does that go against everything we all believe in...it just plain makes me shudder.

Krissy said...

@Dad... You do realize almost all of those could be tied back to boobs, right? You are such a man. ;) LOL I applaud you greatly for #5 though! And #1 gave me an idea for a post that you'll have to wait for.

@JM.. I love you to pieces! You are so me by doing exactly what Dad told you not to. :) But that's a credit to the independent woman he raised.

@Cinderita.. You obviously have never tried to put something on a board with a file cabinet in front of it. I am just my boob size too short to get to it. A guy at work always has to do it for me. :)

Dad said...

@JM...lol, I thought about your bladder hatred when I wrote the post

1. I'll tell you when you're older....like 65
2. I'll have to think about that one
3. No one even comes close to your Grandma Lucy
4. Yeah...I'll let you know on the 23rd
5. It drives me crazy when people are late...for anything...ever...sooo rude

@ib...great minds!

@Cinderita...key word..adjustable...smaller and larger..as called for by the situation

@Krissy...can't wait

Jess said...

Hilarious. Nipples on buttcheeks would be interesting...not necessarily in a good way, though.

Dad said...

@Jess...c'mon Jess, you know a little tweaking to a slow song would be fun :-)

gewuerzgurke said...

The arms idea is really good, every morning I wake up and my arms feel dead. And it still shocks me every time...
Also, the nipples on butt cheeks idea is really funny :D

caterpillar said...

Lol...#5 is a great idea. How about some upgrade that helps in detecting misplaced things. Would help lost souls like me immensely...:)

Jumble Mash said...

I said no family members! But I would have to agree.

P.S. I've called you 238472934723 times. Please call me back. Love you.

Dad said...

@gewuerzgurke...thanks for stopping by...hope to see ya again.

@caterpillar...welcome to my corner of the blog universe...great idea...I'd make a note of it but I'm sure I'd misplace the note :-)

@JM....I've known many people that I felt were great in different ways...their strength, courage, persistence, dedication, intelligence...and yes, even commitment...but when it comes right down to it...I sincerely don't think I've met anyone greater than my mom...the trials and tribulations she lived through, her uncanny ability to empathize, and the ability to keep her sense of humer and a smile on her face still amazes me and I miss her every day.

Pragmatic Spector said...

I'm going to quote a Regina Spektor song. "I got a perfect body, because my eye lashes catch my sweat."

Meaning I think my body is perfect because of its multi-faceted functions.

And I say this still even after acknowledging that all of you are joking