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Saturday, February 12, 2011

Being a Parent Sucks

I feel like whining....so if you're looking for anything else, you might wanna pass by tonight...I understand and no hard feelings :-)  As most of you know by now, my three daughters are pretty much my reason for living.  As with most parents...I'm over-the-top proud of them and would gladly skin and microwave anyone that ever hurt them.  But I have recently determined that I am absolutely NOT ready for them to be all grown up!

It looks like BigSis is going to be moving in June.  Yes, I know it's only four hours away....yes, I know it's a good opportunity for her...yes, I remember that I left home at 17 and have lived all over the world...and yes, I'll do what's right and be supportive....but I'll be damned if I have to like it!!!


And then there's Jumble Mash...her and bf now live almost an hour away!  Yes, I know it was a compromise that cut both of their commutes...yes, they've made themselves a nice home....yes, they seem happy together....and yes, I'll do what's right and be supportive....but I'll be damned if I have to like it!!!


And last, but certainly not least...LilSis now has a significant other (I haven't met him so he doesn't rate a nickname)...yes, I know she's an adult...yes, I know her self-esteem has improved dramatically with her weight loss...yes, I know she has a good head on her shoulders...and yes,  I'll do what's right and be supportive...but I'll be damned if I have to like it!!!


I want my little girls back...I want to be the most important person in their lives...I want to be the one they turn to when they are hurting...I want to be the one that they know they can count on...I want to be the first one they tell their exciting news...I want to be the one that comes to their rescue....I want to be the one that solves their problems...yes, I'll do the right thing and step aside so they can live their lives...but I'll be DAMNED if I'll like it! 

33 comments:

Bouncin' Barb said...

Awww, what a great Dad. Now it's time for Dad to start dating again. It could be a lot worse. Your kids adore you and love you. Mine won't speak to me. That hurts like worse than a vat of acid poured on ya.

Chief aka Dad http://unsoundreasoning.blogspot.com said...

Barb, I can't even imagine how much that would hurt!

Jax said...

You are such an amazing Dad! You sound like Tevye from Fiddler on the Roof :D I am sure you are still an important figure in their lives. I mean after all you do take them shopping and in my book at least that means you are still part of their lives so be grateful that you are.

Teresa - in the Middle Side of Life said...

you are an amazing dad! i bet they're secretly missing the "daddy" times as much as you're missing the "little girl" times.

barb - i can't imagine the pain of that. virtual hugs for you...

becca said...

i'm right there with mine is only going on 11 but already he is showing signs of independeance and like you i do not like it at all

Doria said...

AWe, you are still the one! No matter what you will always be DAD! :)

twilightgazing said...

This will be the damned hardest (and kindest) thing you will ever do, letting your gorgeous girls fly. They know you will always be there for them, and they won't stop sharing things with you, or loving you any less because you guys have such a special relationship and you are their Dad. Now, maybe time to start planning some awesome family get togethers (any excuse will do :)) and start stretching your own wings a little bit.

Mrs. Hyde said...

Aw, poor Dad. I have a spare smart-ass teenager you can have. She doesn't take up much room and she can clean a bathroom like nobody's business. Then, after you turn her into Jumble Mash II, you can send her back.

a bitch called mom

Out of My Mind said...

I think it is harder on Dads when their girls grow up and move out. And, you are entitled. YOU DON'T HAVE TO LIKE IT ONE BIT.

When my daughter left home it was to a sorority house only a few miles away and I was happy to see her go.

When my son finally moved out I was relieved. You see, he looked at all the money he was saving living at home and I finally had to put a for sale sign in front of my house to get him to move at age 29. kt

Cinderita said...

I just wanted to reach through the screen and hug you.

Bubbles said...

Aww...The thing is though from what I can tell they contact you at least once a week if not everyday, you meet up and still have fun. But maybe there moving on means you can finally find someone to be the first to share everything with too...

Grumpy dad needs a hug, so you can have a virual one ...mwah!...

Starlight said...

I really liked this post. You gave me an insight in what parents are going through when we grow up. I'm 23 and my parents are probably going through something similar. But they at least have my sisters (10 years old) so it's not so tough for them see me going away... At least I hope so...

Mynx said...

As I read this I was thinking "He can canoodle in the hammock but I dont have to like it"
Think it is the same with boys.
Your girls love you and will always be back for Dad and shopping.
Big hugs Dad.

Canadianbloggergirl said...

Dad: I can certainly understand your pain. But let me tell you this. Daughters (for the most part) will always need their Daddy and never go to far. It seems as though you have a wonderful relationship with your daughters which is absolutely amazing!

I understand how you feel. My Dad didn't come to my wedding because he couldn't get past having to "let me go" to my hubby. His pride got in the way, and was worried what people would think if he cried in front of them.

You're awesome!

CBG
canadianbloggergirl.blogspot.com

lyndylou said...

Chief this post could have been written by me! I brought Holly up to spread her wings and fly but I don't like it one bit when she does.

I want to still be the centre of her world but I know that in the natural scheme of things, her world will change and I have to stand on the side lines cheering her on! BUT I am her best friend and I think your girls feel that way about you so you wont ever be left out of their world.

We need to start putting ourselves out there (ooh err!) and having some fun too :)

Kalei's Best Friend said...

U may not like it but then again u would wonder why they don't want to leave home? My son needs to leave home- don;t know if its because a male figure is lacking or what... My two daughters had no problem moving out... btw kid is 20.

Dudemeister said...

You better don't like that! Following.

wellthisdoesntsuck.blogspot.com

Facing50Blog.com said...

It sure is hard being a parent. You think it'll be hard when they are young but it's even harder when they are older and don't seem to need you. (Yes, I feel like that too). You are a fab father. Your family loves you. With internet and mobile phones you don't have to feel too far away.
Maybe the Russian farmer girl on the internet dating site could be a distraction from your anguish.
Anyway I'm sending you a big sloppy cyber kiss for Valentine's Day - see it's not just your family who love you - your followers do too <3

Odie Langley said...

Been there, done that... My oldest daughter lives a little over an hour away, my middle daughter lives over 3 hours away and my youngest is about 45 minutes away with my 2 grandsons. Sure makes it tough getting together especially all at once. I don't have to like it either.
Odie

G said...

Oh it is hard and I feel your pain... but whoever comes into their lives you'll always be their Dad. And if, god forbid, anything bad ever really happened I bet they'd be running to you

ib said...

Damn it Chief Dad, this is the crap I am talking about. My daughter is only four so I have some time. I don't even know if I'll make it until she starts up that moving out and dating talk. The last thing I wanted to hear about today is that one's children do indeed, grow up and go out on their own. This news makes me want to take drinking back up. Couple this with the feeling I had at Service today and you might as well stick a fork in me man, I am done. :) :(

BlackLOG said...

This sounds like another reason not to have kids...
At least pets don't move out....
well not the good ones....
We did have a cat that moved across the road when we got a new kitten but that was only a 30 second walk and it would come back for meals...well tell we got a second kitten...

Chief aka Dad http://unsoundreasoning.blogspot.com said...

@Jax...I am grateful but I'm also greedy....I dont want a bit part...I want to be the star :-)

@Teresa...thanks

@becca...my advice is to make him into a complete mama's boy so he'll never leave you !

@Doria...thanks

@Twilight...I know but it still sucks...can I commit myself to an old folks home?

@Mrs Hyde...hell, I'll even drive halfway to pick her up...and you don't have to pay me child support!

@kt...I think you're right

@Cinderita...I could use a hug or three...thanks

@Bubbles...thanks for the hug

@Starlight...I'm sure it is hard for them...move back home...NOW!

@Mynx...thanks for the hugs....but what happens when Coach purses go out of style...then there won't even be shopping!

@CBG....I feel your dad's pain!

@lyndylou...easier said than done...but as usual, you're right

@KBF....I don't know if I would feel different if I had boys...I'd probably expect them to make their way in the world like I did...never really considered the gender aspect...guess that makes me sexist :-)

@Dude...welcome...and I don't think I'll ever like it

@Facing50....thanks...and maybe the Russian chick is the answer :-)

@Odie...it just doesn't seem fair...we're the ones that put all the work into raising them and then some butthead takes them away!!!

@G....I hope so

@ib....it sucks...if you need a drinking partner let me know...it's been a long, long time but I think I remember how to get slobbernockered!

@BlackLOG...very wise....gets a virtual kid or something...less work, expense and pain

Jimmy said...

Amen Dad, you are a good man for being who you are and wanting your Daughters close is not out of line, you speak the words of a man who loves his kids and you have Daughters who love you right back.

I have a couple of boys who make me wonder what I did wrong as they have not talked to me in a long time no matter what I do, I have two more and a daughter who choose to stay close and I so appreciate the fact that they are here.

Whining when it comes to your kids is allowed in my book because there is a lot you don't have to like, but doing the right thing I see you doing just fine.

bruce said...

yeah man! i hear ya. i joke about my daughter moving on, but it is still a couple years a way...

the reality is ya don't have to like it!

Sandra said...

I happen to like the whining.
And I loved this post!...see you should whine more often...wait, that came out wrong...I always adore you, but this was terrific because it was so heartfelt, and made me miss my dad. Your daughters are terribly lucky to have you.

The Restaurant Manager said...

My daughter is only 10. But I know this day is coming! Not looking forward to it at all!

On My Soapbox said...

Awwww, you are such a caring Dad! You raised three fine daughters who are now independent adults. Kudos to you!

Whine away, Chief! That's what blogs are for. :-)

Jumble Mash said...

It is 9:30 in the morning and your nearly made me cry. That's awful early for crying. I haven't even had my coffee yet:)

Anyways, I do love you dad and you will always be number 1. Sometimes I wish I could be a little carefree girl again, too. But we have an excellent relationship and I wouldn't trade it for the world.

If it helps at all, I haven't seen Mom since Christmas?!

Justsayin' said...

I agree with you 100% My kids seem to have grown up way to fast. And you are right you do not have to like :)

caterpillar said...

Aww.....that's such a sweet post...I am sure your daughters know that they have the best Dad in the world and will always be your little girls...

Chief aka Dad http://unsoundreasoning.blogspot.com said...

@Jimmy...I just wish the right thing was easier...sorry about your boys, I hope somehow the bridge gets fixed

@Bruce...those couple of years go way too fast!

@Sandra...whining is good...got it :-) Thanks

@Restaurant...put it off as long as you can :-)

@Soapbox...I usually try not to whine...here or anywhere else but this is bothering me

@JM...you weren't supposed to read this....and you know I'd never make you cry. I know you love me and I too cherish our relationship...in this particular case, I'm just selfish. As far as your mom goes, I honestly wish she would grow up a little so you could have a good relationship with her...she is after all, your mom...maybe some day she'll see the light

@Justsaying....yep, on both counts

@Caterpillar....I generally adapt well to change but this one is giving me fits!

The Adorkable Ditz said...

From what I've read in your archive you have wonderful relationships with your daughters. They may be out of the way, but they'll always come back to Daddy dearest. :)

Distance makes the heart grow fonder. Besides you still got phones and Skype so it'll be like they never left!

The Adorkable Ditz' Missteps