Thursday, December 9, 2010

A sad, sad story

Well...I think it finally I am mourning the death of my last functioning brain cell.  It fought a valiant struggle, swinging to they very end but despite every effort...I must announce, that it succumbed today.

I thought I was well prepared and highly experienced...I spent most of my life in the military and the remainder in government service...I honestly felt I could combat the idiocy of bureaucracy and come out on top...oh freinds and neighbors, how wrong I was!!!

I earn what most would deem a very good salary based on my analytical abilities...and I take a great deal of pride in my work.  Do to some recent personnel changes, we find ourselves short in our administrative area.  The decision was made, that to get through this temporary shortage, several of us would be required to prepare and mail or own correspondence.  I'm a team player and have no problem jumping in to pick up the slack!!!

Things were going well until today...(insert ominous music here)...I had to mail my first piece of correspondence!!!  I approached the task with the confidence of a professional...the correspondence had gone through the 97 (maybe a SLIGHT exaggeration) levels of required review unscathed....little did I know a land mine lay in wait!  I prepared the mailing label, stuck it on the envelope, inserted the document and sealed it up.

Feeling a bit smug with my accomplishment, I handed the envelope to the person in the mail room.  With a look normally associated with talking to the village idiot...the clerk handed it back, telling me that the address label was formatted incorrectly.  I stared numbly for a second and explained that it was exactly as it was on the correspondence.  There's the problem he explained, the regulation on administrative issues clearly directs that THE ADDRESS FORMAT ON THE CORRESPONDENCE IS DIFFERENT THAN THE ADDRESS FORMAT ON THE MAILING LABEL.

That's when my last functioning brain cell threw in the towel and gave up the ghost!!!


Pragmatic Spector said...

No, trust me you're not stupid. Neither did your last brain cell resign. If anything, I think your limbic system took over and made you a little melodramatic. Funny story though :)

ib said...

You don't need brain cells to be productive in today's society. I am a good example of what one, minus brain cells, can achieve. I hold an average job with average pay. I have two cats that hack up hair balls daily and, what I am most not proud of, I have an obsessively obsessive brain that is always trying to sabotage me at every turn. Oh, I also have a blog.

Jumble Mash said...

Hahahaha. Jeesh, everyone should know that the address format is different that the...ugh...address format?

Don't worry, I still think you have a few brain cells left.

Bouncin' Barb said...

My deepest condolences Dad. We'll gather for a short eulogy tomorrow at noon. I so know what you mean. Isn't it sad?

Sandra said...

You're such a good writer. Screw all the bureaucracy and write a novel! It's a good way to put that last brain cell to good use, yes?

lyndylou said...

brain cells? What are they? Oh dear mine have obviously died a long time ago!

Take heart, at least you had them for this long! lol


Krissy said...

A screwed up system is not a brain cell funeral in the making. Sounds like those people are just being difficult. Our correspondence always matches the label to what's on the letter. What the...?

becca said...

the voices in my head and my imaginary friends both agree you can function without brain cells for i am proof of that.

Jess said...

I think I'd probably screw that one up as well. Don't be too hard on those brain cells. At least they're trying!

Dad said...

@Spector...lemme open WebMD...not sure I have a limbic system :-) Thanks for stopping by! are so right!'re only saying that cause you want your Christmas presents :-)

@Barb...I hope you passed around the collection plate imaginary friends wanna come play with your imaginary friends :-)

@Krissy...I'm sure there is a guy...or girl...making big bucks just to come up with these insane rules...I soooo want that job!

@Sandra...thank you kind lady but JM is the novelist in the family !!!

@lyndylou..yeah...surprised they lasted this long

@Jess...thanks for the vote of confidence