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Monday, December 13, 2010

Snowy Monday, LilSis, JM and Other Crap

First, a huge thanks to all for your kind words and thoughts for LittleSis' recovery.  I am happy...actually thrilled...to report that she is doing very well.  I stayed home and played Florence Nightinggale for her today...she was a pretty good patient.  BigSis is off work the next two days and will be able to keep an eye on her.

It's friggin snowing and 19F here and I hate it!!!!  I went and got JM another birthday present...I love spoiling my girls.  In case everyone doesn't know it....JM will be 25 years old on Thursday the 16th!!!  Yes, I fathered her when I was like 12 :-)  It's soooooo hard to believe that she will officially be an antique!  Thank goodness she has not lost her inner child...she's a hoot to be around...as long as she's not cranky :-)

I've been thinking that it may be just about time to find a girlfriend.  It's been about two years since I've dated anyone...takes about that long for me to recover from the insanity.  I will wait until after Christmas of course, no need to buy any more presents :-)  And it will be new enough come Valentine's Day that an insignificant token will be appropriate.  I don't go to bars or church (wouldn't wanna get struck by lightening for trying to pick up a woman at church) so I guess I'll go with on-line dating.

Here's a typical Dad "relationship". 

I say right up front..."I am not a very good boyfriend but I am a great friend."
They say..."Why do you say that?"
I say..."17 years of experience...I'm not romantic, I'm not dangerous, it takes me a long time to develope an attachment, and I will not be controlled."
They say..."I just want a man that is honest"
I say..."Yes, that dress does make your ass look big" (Nothing wrong with a big ass...but they ask!)
They say..."You're a jerk"
I say..."You're right...can we just be friends?"

I'm starting to think the JM will never get a step-mother...oh well, I'd really rather have an invisible blue dragon.

20 comments:

Jess said...

Don't give up just yet....hubs has caught the flu...
:P

JM has the same birthday as my baby Anna! Yay!

Jess said...

P.S. He has a great life insurance policy! Hahaha

Dad said...

@Jess...and we could have one great big birthday party for the girls!!! Hope hubs feels better...did that sound sincere?

Teresa - in the Middle Side of Life said...

LOL - I like your attitude. I have a sister about your age who thinks she'll probably be single for the rest of her life, too. Seems that men also can't stand honesty. Go figure... LOL!

Nice to find your blog. Glad LilSis is improving.

Dad said...

@Teresa...OK, so why don't I ever run into women like your sister??? Glad ya stopped by and hope ya come back.

Bouncin' Barb said...

Good to hear she's well and home recovering. Bruce and I met online in Yahoo personals. It works.

Mrs. Hyde said...

So glad LS is doing better!

As a black woman, I've been waiting all my life for someone to tell me my ass is fat, so the next time I'm fishing for that particular comment, I'll know whom to call.

Mynx said...

All I can say is that it is always good to have a plan.
But unlike Mrs Hyde, you call my bum big I will slap you

lyndylou said...

Glad Lil Sis is feeling better.

Dating.......oh god, don't even go there, I have found that it's like a complete role reversal from when I was younger.....the women were desperate to settle down and the men were trying to get away...........to now when it's the guy who wants to settle down with his slippers by the fire, dinner on the table, it's the woman (aka Me) who runs screaming in the opposite direction!!!

Good luck with that :)

oh and I am with Mynx!!!

twilightgazing said...

No, no, no, no plan. You will set yourself up for disappointment. Go out and just have some fun. Oh and a bit of honest diplomacy will go a long way... ie honey I think you look super hott in that little black number of yours instead!

Jumble Mash said...

Rules to Picking Out My Step Mother-

1. Wait until Jess' husband croaks to actually get married, but while you are dating...

2. She must have her own money because she can't have any of mine...I mean yours.

3. She has to be at least 10 years older than me.

4. She must know how to cook.

Bursts of Bubbles said...

Its great to read that your daughter is doing well considering her scary situation...

They say a great way to pick up women is to go to the fruit and veg section in a supermarket... only thing is you could pick up a right insect there :P... and I'm not talking about the ones in the lettuce.

becca said...

glad to hear LS is better you and just follow JM rules of dating and you'll be fine.

Dad said...

@Barb...thanks...yahoo hmm...I'll have to check it out

@Mrs Hyde...I've said it before and I'll say it again...I'm here for ya :-)

@Mynx...I would NEVER call that lovely bum of yours anything but lovely...I really don't wanna get slapped!

@lyndylou...see my comment to Mynx re: lovely bum...ditto to you! I find that it's the women that wanna settle down so fast that it makes my head spin...lyndylou, maybe you and I are just too lovable!!!

@Twilight...welcome...where do I go out to??? Diplomacy...sounds kinda like fibbing to me but I concede the wisdom of your point

@JM...1. he will live to be at least 109! 2. I saw that one coming a mile away...exactly how is "my" money "our" money? 3. No problem with the age limit 4. I agree 100% on the cooking :-)

@Bubbles...lol..no insects for me please...and I'm not sure hanging out in the cucumber section is a great idea :-)

@becca...thanks...but isn't JM supposed to follow my rules...after all, I'm the Dad !!!

DW said...

Online dating must not be all bad - my brother met/married my awesome sister-in-law that way! Oh, and a little tact will go a long way. It is not fibbing, it is *redirecting*. Example: Her: "Does my ass look big in this dress?". You: "I think your blue dress looks prettier on you". And if you really want to lay it on, "....and it matches your eyes". BTW, a memo to all men: If a woman asks you if her ass looks big in something, it is for two reasons: 1. She already knows her ass looks big in it. 2. She is looking for a reason to argue/break up/get out of going to your stupid company holiday party.

Sandra said...

No you wouldn't. You'd rather have a woman. Frankly, if I wasn't already married, I'd totally dig your honesty. You're so straightforward. Women who can't appreciate that deserve to be engulfed for dinner by your blue dragon!

Dad said...

@DW...I've actually met some really nice women over the last several years on-line..and really only one psycho...just haven't met The One!. Redirecting...I'll have to try that technique and get back to you :-)

@Sandra...awww...you're so sweet...poopy pants and all! I have a great big couch...plenty of room to hide. Seriously though, I am very honest with women because I don't want to hurt anyone and I don't particularly care to be hurt...but it sure hasn't worked out very well for me!

twilightgazing said...

Thanks DW for clarifying what I was trying to suggest.

Dad, go out and do all the things / activities you have always been going to do and have put off for whatever reason (as we all seem to do) and see who else may be enjoying those same activities. I've also found a great way to meet people is by exercising / walking in the local park.

Dad said...

@twilight...good advice...I'm pretty much convinced at this point that my waiting for the Avon Lady to ring my door bell and jump my bones isn't gonna work :-)

Asian Angel said...

I would date you but I'm not 10 years older than JM. My last significant other is 20 years my senior if this makes you feel any better.