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Friday, February 25, 2011

Good news, bad news, hermits and riding the professional roller coaster!

I hope this post finds everyone in good health and spirits....sometimes I get so wrapped up in the stupid crap happening in my life that lose sight of what's important.  You guys...and girls...(more so girls, cause I really like girls...boobies and butts, boobies and butts...oops, I digress) are important to me.  I find that my interest and concern for the well being of you, my "virtual" friends is more substantial than for most of the people I interact with in "reality" every day.  So, I am sincere in hoping that you all are in good health and spirits.


Somehow over the last several years I've become a hermit and I'm not real sure how it happened.  This isn't a "woe is me" or a fishing for sympathy post, it's just an observation of how my life has evolved.  I think I've always been a bit of a loner by nature but I have reasonable social skills and generally like people.  I have "work friends" that I chit chat and bullshit with during the normal course of the week but I find that once the work day is over...so is the friendship.

I think part of it is that I'm in that strange...but growing...population of older, single males.  I'm way beyond the point of running the bars and wanting to party.  And I'm an awkward third wheel to my married friends because I don't have a "significant other" to drag along to social events...and some guys seem to think that there's nothing a single guy would rather do than bone their the wives.  I also don't think single men in my age group just "hang out" together...they must have all turned into hermits too :-)



Wow, I really went off track...this post was supposed to be about my crappy week at work.  Late last week, I got a call from a senior manager from a different division and he asked if I could stop by and chat.  Of course being the nosy little bugger that I am, I was intrigued and said of course.

When we met, he explained that a new "high profile" unit was being established and he thought that with my background and leadership experience, that I would be an ideal supervisor (1 of 5) for this new endeavor.  Of course, with this stroke to my ego...and the fact that it entails a promotion...when he asked if I would be interested I said...yep.

But very quickly, reality came crashing down and I remembered that we are in the midst of a hiring freeze...external and internal.  When I mentioned this little tidbit, he alluded to the possibility that a wink, wink, nod, nod  deal could be worked out with my current management.  As I am certainly old enough and experienced enough to realize that things seldom work as planned, I should have known better...I must admit that I allowed myself to get a bit excited about the whole thing.


I had a meeting scheduled yesterday to unofficially "interview" with the potential new boss.  Being the straight-forward person that I am, even though I am not required to inform my current management of any of this...I felt it was the right thing to do since they have generally treated me pretty good. 

How did that work out, you might ask....not so good!!!  I popped in and told my supervisor and informed him that I was going to let his supervisor know also.  My supervisor, who is a decent guy with severely limited people skills thanked me for letting him know and didn't have anything to say about it.

However, before I had a chance to get with his boss...he got with his boss and gave him a "heads up".  I was then "called in" by his boss who was pretty irate and ranted about how everyone else was trying to steal his good people and that he wasn't going to stand for it and implying that I was somehow disloyal for wanting to take advantage of an opportunity.



I reminded his boss that I did indeed appreciate the way I have be treated...which was why I was providing the professional courtesy of letting him know instead of letting him be blind-sided.  I also reminded him that I have made it clear all along of my career goals and that if not this opportunity, at some point an opportunity would arise and that I would move on.

I understand his position and if I were sitting in his chair, I too would be unwilling to lose an asset.  And since I knew from the beginning that the hiring freeze was a serious obstacle, I was not in the least surprised by his unwillingness to release me.  I was however, surprised and to be honest disappointed how it seemed to be viewed that my desire to advance was somehow disloyal.  Needless to say, when I informed the potential "new" boss that current boss was not happy...new boss' interest in me immediately waned...oh well, shit happens!

I was discussing the situation with a friend that has been with the organization a lot longer than I have.  His advice was that I needed to learn to be sneakier and that I should not have let them know what was being discussed.  While his advice is probably sound, I refuse to become that person.

Needless to say...I feel that I have now fallen from grace in my current work situation and will just have to suck it up until the hiring freeze is lifted and an opportunity to move presents itself.

So  that was my week...how was yours?

18 comments:

On My Soapbox said...

Good for you, Chief! I would have done the same thing. It's called "integrity", which a lot of people seem to be missing these days.

I don't have any words of wisdom for the hermit thing, as I'm a bit of a homebody myself.... I think the key, though, is making friends outside of work.

Chief aka Dad http://unsoundreasoning.blogspot.com said...

@Soapbox...you are sooooo right, integrity is often discussed but less often practiced...and it would be much easier if I could just buy a friend at Walmart!

Chief aka Dad http://unsoundreasoning.blogspot.com said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
becca said...

Good for you, Chief! as for the hermit thing no advice as i've been on house arrest for so many years my only outside connection is my family. hugs

colenic said...

I often do the same thing-informing people of my intentions and it ends up biting me in the butt...but I can't believe there's not some karmic justice to those who believe that being sneaky is the best way to do things....
As for being a hermit- I have no advice...hang in there!!
Hugs to you!

Doria said...

*high fives* for being a good employee like that! :) So sorry for the boring single man nights!

Chief aka Dad http://unsoundreasoning.blogspot.com said...

@becca...me too...unless one of the girls want to do something, I ujust do the work, home, work cycle

@colenic...I too believe in karma...and the hermit thing isn't so bad, just not what I expected at this satge of life

@Doria...thanks for the high 5 :-)

Bubbles said...

Does that mean they no longer want to offer you the post? If they wanted it to be a secret then they should have said so instead of assuming that you'd keep it to yourself. I would have done it myself... but my job usually consists of me being told off. A friend today e-mailed me and told me she just handed in her notice even though she had no job to go to after... I'm so damn envious but I'm stuck with gaga land house hunting.

As for hermit, I think I need to definately come over to the U.S and I'll join you on that throne as like everyone else I'm no better but this way I'll keep you company. I have noticed this about my life and I'm hoping to make a few changes... like hopefully joining the gym to get out of the house in the evening, from September to try and study but these may fall flat on their face when I get a house as I don't know yet what things will be like finacially. Maybe there are some reading clubs in your area, a short course you might fancy doing like creative writing as your so good at it, maybe photography, flower arranging so you can meet some ladies.... ok so maybe not the last one :P

lyndylou said...

I think you did the right thing by giving your boss the heads up and it's not your fault that they chose to behave like petulant 5 year olds.

As for the hermit thing, I soooo know what you mean cos I very rarely get a night out and my social life has become non existent. I still manage to keep up with my friends but it's via technology through texting, msn etc rather than face to face.

If it wasn't for Holly and I having such a laugh I think I would go nuts. I dread a year from now when when Holly goes off to college cos I will be like Shirley Valentine and start speaking to the walls!!!

You could always take a trip to Scotland :)

Mynx said...

Hubby has several times gone through long winded processes in applying and interviewing for positions only to be told later that they had changed thier minds and wouldnt be employing after all. That is probably more frustrating than giving it to somebody else.
Well done you for protecting your butt by being up front about it all.

Facing50Blog.com said...

Well done! Oh great honorable one! I too have no advice on being a hermit except Hubby definitely wants to be one so I could be going spare in time if you need a date!

Starlight said...

I also think you did the right thing by giving your boss the heads up, that's really nice of you.
Try not to think so much about it and relax; everything's going to be fine :)

Jimmy said...

I'm with everyone else, honesty is a quality I respect while someone being sneaky only makes me leary of anything they say or do.

Nothing wrong with being upfront, I am proud of you my friend.

G said...

I think hermitage might be an age thing...certainly recently I'm feeling less social and more inclined to my own company.

Sounds like your new potential boss needs to grow a pair.

Stick to being you :)

Chief aka Dad http://unsoundreasoning.blogspot.com said...

@Bubbles...no, that job will be filled by someone else. Because of the freeze it will have to be someone they already "own"

Come on over and keep me company...I have a workshop where you can do all your crafts :-)

@lyndylou...yep, people pretty much suck...except for bloggers of course :-) Hmmm...wonder what a plane ticket to Scotland costs???? I do know where in Scotland my family originated...a "historical" visit might be a good idea.

@Mynx....tell hubby I feel his pain. I don't understand why people feel they have to be all sneaky but that is the norm where I work...but I refuse to play that game

@Facing50...sounds good to me...maybe we could chase some cows around in our night clothes :-)

@Starlight...you are so sweet, thanks

@Jimmy...I agree 100%

@G...being me is all I know how to do :-)

Teresa - in the Middle Side of Life said...

i think you were being the type of employee they would thank since you wanted to keep them from being blind-sided. unfortunately, their response would be the same as my management's response would be. (in fact, i've been "accused" of looking elsewhere within the company because the "heard" i'd applied for a couple of jobs, when it wasn't even truth...)

hopefully, your management will not treat you badly because you had integrity.

caterpillar said...

A few of my friends went through the same thing when they wanted to move into a different team. You did the right thing, and I hope things will work out for you...

Out of My Mind said...

Boy do I hear you.
Isn't this what is called a "Dammed if you do, dammed if you don't," situation. Being a decent person shouldn't be a negative on one's resume.

Shame on them! kt