Monday, Monday...revisited!!!

In yesterday's post....in case your memory is deficient like mine...I offered to answer some questions and y'all left some good ones...so here we go!!!

My darling JM asks "why OH why do guys think once they are in a relationship they can just quit trying to impress the girl?"  Good question, young Jedi...you see, we take our clue from the animal kingdom.  The peacock displays its brilliant, iridescent plumage to impress and entice the peahen (only the males are actually peacocks) into joining his harem.  However, once the peahen is a member of the harem, the peacock no longer puts on this display.  There are two primary reasons for this change in behavior; 1) the level of posturing required to win the mate is alot of friggin' work...the tailfeathers are about 60% of the peacocks total body length and 2) the peacock has already won the peahen as a mate...what would be the point in trying to impress her further?  To summarize, we use our best effort to get you in the first place...so once we have you, there's not much left to impress you with and once in a relationship, it's easy to get lazy and fall into the false sense of security that we did such a good job of impressing you in the first place that there's really no need to keep doing it.  As a note, the male is not the only gender guilty of this...case in point, the female that previously spent an hour getting ready for a date now only owns sweatpants and has taken the Mary Kay lady off her friends list :-)  JM, there is a way around this one...don't let the guy know he's in a relationship...I once saw a woman for two years and never knew that I was "in a relationship" I thought we were special friends :-)

Krissy, who has referred to me as sexy twice now and I hereby appoint as my highly valued official stalker, ponders "Why do guys always have their hands either in their pants or on their appendage?"  First, appendage is a really bad term to use when describing our weiners...they have feelings, you know!!!  It sounds like we could get appendage-itis and have to have it removed or it might fall off or some other craziness...shudder.  But back to the question, there are actually a number of reasons for this seemingly strange behavior.  It could be economic...for example, I grew up poor...there were five sons and very little money...sometimes it was the only thing I had to play with :-)  For some married guys, it's a reminder that even though they don't get to use it without permission, it's still there.  Yes, sometimes it is a sexual thing...it just feels good.  Oh, and believe it or not....sometimes it is just a comfort adjustment and nothing more :-)

And Jess is quite the curious one...she has four..."Do y'all REALLY think about sex evry 13 seconds?"  Jess, I'm not sure where you came up with this so called "data"....I seriously believe it to be flawed...it must be based on men of the clergy or guys in a coma!!!  I'm pretty sure that for regular guys it's probably more like once every 10.5 seconds and for us overachievers once every 8 seconds...but to be clear, some of those thoughts are very fleeting, like "nice butt".  Jess' next inquiry is a personal favorite, "Do you automatically appraise a woman's hotness when meeting her for the first time?"  Without a doubt, YES.  To clarify, although most won't admit it...I believe the majority of men, if even for a split second...never to be acted upon, assess each woman's potential as a possible sex partner.  I think this is based on two factors...factor one, the genetic drive to procreate and sustain the species and factor two that we're horn dogs that would have sex with just about anyone short of a leper (see note above about stuff falling off) IF the conditions were just right...like no one would ever find out :-)  Her next question caught me off guard and required some soul searching on my part..."Do you secretly like chick flicks?" Not so much, they set the expectations for romance and relationships too high for the typical guy to meet...see peacock discussion above.  However, I must be honest and admit that there are exceptions...I love the movie "Sweet Home Alabama" and not sure if this one actually qualifies as a chick flick but I really like Juno...the parents in that movie are awesome!  And last, the age old question "Is the toilet lid thing really that widespread an epidemic?"  I with you Jess, I don't see this as a major issue...can't recall it ever creating strife at my house.

Wow...that was fun :-)  I was talking to JM this afternoon and told her this blogging stuff can be addictive...I haven't even had dinner yet because I wanted to log on and see what's happening.  Y'all are much more interesting than the people I know :-)